Mother,

When you looked in on me,
what you thought was my body
     curled beneath the blankets
          sleeping peacefully
               warm and cozy
                    as your little baby should be,

          Was only pillows.


Against your wishes,
I was at the beach
until dawn came
     listening to the surf
          squishing sand between my toes

          Shivering.


I promise that tonight
When you look in on me,
     it will not be pillows
          but the daughter you expect to see.

And I will be
     curled beneath the blankets
          sleeping peacefully
               warm and cozy
                    as your little baby should be,

          dreaming about that boy's kiss
          from the night before.